Too Many Thinky Thoughts

One of the things I like the least about not having a job is that I end up spending a lot of time alone in my own head. This is never a good thing.  Part of me realizes that I end up overanalyzing and part of me starts picking things apart and wondering what it is that I am missing.  What is it about me that makes me so very easy to dismiss?  What is it about me that when a business analyzes it's assets and liabilities, I am always a liability and therefore expendable?  What is it about me that allows people to just walk away from me without a second thought?

Although I suppose that a lot of planning goes into pretty much every ending.  They say getting fired should never be a surprise.  At my last couple of jobs, there was definitely something awry but I didn't think either of them would end the way that they did.

If you've read this blog for any length of time you'll know that I'm not a big fan of marriage (for myself, anyhow... I am happy to be an officiant at weddings in spite of my personal track record).  Marriage guarantees nothing but it does make the question of calling things quits much more difficult.  If you aren't married, there's nothing to stop you from packing up and leaving any time you want to... there are no consequences to leaving.  (No, I am not contemplating ending my "going-on-nine-years" POSSLQ arrangement with Mr. POSSLQ... remember... time on my hands = overanalyzing things).  I don't want to get married again but every now and then I wish I felt a little more confident about not ending up alone, with only my 20 cats to keep me company (and, of course, the internet...)   Guess I should stop watching "My Fair Wedding" and figure out how I'm gonna feed my inevitable swarm of kitties.

I think for now I will go contemplate things in the tub... it is a good spot for thinking thinky thoughts and trying to work things out...